#theres got to be some of you who can explain since apparently literally everyone on this website was a joy to have in class and all that

[autogeneity]

there's a type of approval-seeking that people talk about which kind of totally perplexes me...where it sounds like it's neither about people you like or respect, nor that you'd face negative consequences from disapproval, but rather just kind of...for its own sake?

I guess it helps if I describe the types I do understand:

wanting someone you like to think positively of you (probably implicitly so they can be/stay friends with you etc)

wanting people you respect to judge you positively (as a presumably accurate reflection of you being good in whatever sense aligned with your own values)

being afraid of punishment, in particular social

I can also understand doing it to obtain some other positive outcome (e.g. impressing your boss to get a promotion) but ime that kind of feels instrumental rather than a direct emotional tie to approval. think this is also true of non-social punishment

but it sounds like there's some other type — e.g. with that post about wanting the love and approval of your parents. feels like there's a bunch of people who don't really like their parents or would like...want to hang out with them as people. and don't really respect their values or judgement. and are not in a position to really face any consequences of their parents' opinions. and yet...still give a fuck.

like even my last therapist seemed to assume that I'd want my parents to accept me (in the present day) and I genuinely do not understand why would I want that?

[selfspinninglies]

👁️👁️?

hi aureo that was fast . anyway explanation under the cut woo

its kinda fuzzy in my head since ive only had this idea for two days including today so . but basically theres magic in the world that this takes place in (side tangent that isnt totally important but im gonna talk about how it works now if you dgaf skip to the plot stuff) its mostly not demonized/hated/feared/whatever cause i dont feel like it . anyway basically the energy needed is inside of your blood so whenever you use it it draws it out of you in some way (depends on what its used for) or you can draw it out yourself (bloodletting) and depending on how strong the spell you're doing is a certain amount of blood will be needed which causes !! a lot of problems for magic users . also its not like . a lineage thing anyone can learn how to do it because another part of how it works is making bonds/pacts with spirits that hold power over certain things and the blood is like . the offering also and you can either use incantations of sorts to do spells or just command things that youve borrowed power over also if your family has a pact with a spirit you are automatically in that also

vey end up going into the center of the woods and there's a grave in the clearing so vey go to it and make a blood offering assuming that this is the correct place (<- its not . oops) which ends up pissing off the spirit there because they do not have a pact together so vey are Not supposed to do that . it ends up pissing the spirit off more by admitting that it thought this was the correct place to be for a different spirit who was apparently not even close to here . who knew (everyone except erika) . the spirit ends up laying a curse on nem as its one of those angry and restless ones + got angered further . the spirit explains that somewhere in their body the seed of the plant that fits them best will start growing inside of them at a random place and slowly kill them by taking all of their energy and eventually spread out of them and essentially take over their body . they don't say if there's any way to cure/get rid of and it doesn't really sound like there is . they also say that when ey're at eir deathbed ey'll drag eir body back to this very spot and become part of the forest in the same way the spirit is . (sorry i keep saying "the spirit" i know it sounds kinda weird but i havent named them yet) (also ihave sooosososo many thoughts about how this would work so . maybe another time but if you wanna hear me go insane ask)

(other side tangent) also the way that the spirits work is that if you're connected to something deeply throughout life and your death is also connected to that thing (ex you have a connection to oceans/lakes/rivers your entire life and then you drown and die) you become bound to it spiritually and it becomes literally a part of you which means you have command over it kinda (does any of this make sense . idk) but it sucks a lot because the thing draws out your energy after death to fuel your ability cause like i said earlier spells require energy n shit but you also gain the ability to share your ability with others which relieves it a little since the burden isnt all on you BUT some spirits are angrier and curse anyone who steps foot near the area where they died . also their abilities and people who have deals with them's powers are amplified in the death area

ANYWAY actual plot time . the protagonists name is erika/erik (goes by both) (any pronouns but mostly uses neos) and ney're part of a family that has a pact (<- i think im going with that as for what ill call these) with some sort of plant spirit ney aren't sure which one though ney didnt pay much attention to the explanation of it all . it doesnt care too much about its lineage its more interested in biology and anatomy related things (<- woaww title reference) and also salamanders . its not story important but ve really likes salamanders . anyway x2 nix is somewhere in nixs early 20s and lives alone in an apartment planning on going to college soon but is putting it off . probably works a shitty 9-5 that it hates idk . very tired guything . theyre kinda bored and start thinking about their abilities and general ineptitude with it and decide that they'll go to the forest that their pact spirit dwells in to feel more connected to it or whatever . ey didn't really plan things through a lot . It makes a small bag with some supplies in it just in case and goes to the place that it thinks is the correct one but ends up being wrong and ends up in a very large forest . paragraph break because this one's getting long

obviously it freaks the fuck out about this and ends up running veryvery far away from the clearing and ends up collapsing somewhere because its really fucking tired . in the morning to nix's surprise nothing happened to nix in that time . anyway first thing he does is take out a diagram of the human body that was in one of the notebooks that he took with him and starts drawing out what the curse might look like on the inside . (which is also kinda where the name of the story comes from)

hey remember how i said energy needed for spells lay inside someone's blood . and how the plants will sap off of the person's energy and therefore blood . and how erik's family has a pact with a plant spirt . hey do you think that might be just a little important -

so anyway she tries to find her way back but fails miserably because the one thing she happened to forget was a map of any kind so now she's stuck in a forest with a deadly curse and no idea how to fix herself. they frantically walk through the forest and end up finding a village filled with totally normal people yayyy . anyway when they get there they say that they got lost in the woods and need a place to stay until they figure stuff out . oddly enough someone agrees to house them for a bit . The people of the town are incessant with questions, particularly about if they've encountered the spirit . on impulse he lies saying that he didnt which totally wont bite him in the ass later i mean who said that . anyway thats basically the plot theres more but this is already long as fuck and i dont feel like typing anymore idk how much of this makes sense but whateverrr im sleepy n sickly (<- has a cold) so . yeah hope you like it :]]

[lunarifie]

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

The Tournament of Elements episode 3-4

WHAT IS GOING ON

oh Zane’s having a nightmare.

Why a dragon though, you had one as a pet for like a whole season.

Nya, Wu is NOT the one to go for love advice.

Nya: its just, coles like, i connect with him on a deeper level.

Do you?

Nya: but hes always so serious all the time

No hes not

This was literally his goofiest season

I forgot Misako and Garmadon are still married.

Theyre like, husband and wife.

Thats so weird for some reason

Garmadon: theres a lesson to learn from this son.

Garmadon: If you turn your back on your evil sensei. You will not be served creamy biscuits.

Istg sometimes Wu and Garmadon just say shit and see if the ninja will interpret it in a useful way like an english teacher asking you what the poem means to you

Jay: And i thought ninja didnt steal other ninjas girlfriends!!

WHEN WAS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND???????

I love Chens character as a villain. All of this is merely for his entertainment and this whole tournament of manipulation is for his own gain. i love villains who are more manipulative than straight up evil. Thats probably why the overlord didnt stick with me that much.

THE HISTORICAL JAY AND COLE FIGHT

i still remember this from my childhood

Jay: One of us has to lose!!! Oh my god its totally gonna be me. Hes got super strength! And what do I have??!?! QUICK, TELL ME WHAT DO I HAVE?!?!

Insecurities coming in hot there Jay you okay?

Yes it sucks that theyre fighting punching bags with each others faces.

but that doesn’t change the fact that they both have a single headshot photo of one another—

Its startiiiing

Jesus christ theyre immediately at it didnt even let Chen finish speaking 💀

Nickname 1: Blue-belle

Yes that nickname was said as an insult

Apparently.

Not one of Coles best…

Zane escaped!

WAIT WHY IS PIXAL SCRAPPED?!?!?

How did that happen

If they never explain how then im headcannoning that instead of Zane putting himself back together. It was Pixal but she couldnt find the right nindroid parts, so she used herself, kinda like a lung transplant or something, in simple words. Especially since she had half his heart.

God these robots have gone through so much

“I was more upset about losing you!”

Ah yes the famed line

Jay and Cole made up so quickly😭

Why didn’t yall resolve this literally a few minutes ago all you had to say was a few words

AND NOW THEYRE FIGHTING TOGETHER

“I got your back!”

“And I’ve got yours.”

Theyre the bestest of friends i love their dynamic sm

Okay but you can tell that beforehand, they were yelling heated words at one another but they never tried to physically harm the other.

Theres so many moves theyre using rn that they didnt even try before

Thought process was probably like ‘okay so i can do this— wait that would actually hurt him.’

Lloyd using garmadons advice!!!!!

“Good work son :)”

When he becomes evil again im gonna be so heartbroken

Jay (now that one of them is being forced to take the jade blade): It should be you! We both know im lucky to even have gotten this far

Jay your really worrying me with your self deprecation at this point

The way Cole knew he would lose his power if he lost. That he doesn’t even really know where he’ll end up other than some sort of factory. But still sacrificed himself.

Got me feeling all emotional

God i could FEEL the euphoria of Kai learning him and skyler weren’t related, that was pure relief right there

Okay but that was some skilled manipulation.

Chen taking away something precious and then blaming it on Cole and Jay being uncooperative so everyone turns on them. Thats like manipulation 101

Smart tho

Kinda sucks that even Kai fell for it 🫠

Cole: you can take my clothes, my power! But you will never take my super strength!!!

Cole (tries to bust open the cell but fails): okay you got that too.

How is that even possible tho

Last I remember Coles super strength wasn’t connected to his elemental power

He picked up trees and shit when Lloyd was the golden ninja.

Cole getting all giddy and picking up a fortune cookie: you know theres a fortune in these right :D

Hes so stupid i love him.

Jay knowing how to roller-skate is so him.

Jay: did i ever tell you i got first place in the mother-son skate off!

Invisible guy: weirdo.

Dont need to be so rude about it damn.

Kai immediately fell on his ass in front of skyler its not looking too great for him

Jay doing flips/tricks in skates in the background, just having the time of his life is something so nice to see

Ninjagos actually pretty good with disabled representation.

Cyrus borgs character is just a good character in general, i like him a lot.

And the master of sound being blind. Yes, when he loses his elemental power he has trouble figuring out where people and things are but later hes shown as very skilled with hearing and stealth just from prior knowledge. Hes almost able to escape. before being fed to the serpentine that is.

OH. CAMILLE. LIKE CHAMELEON. BC SHE CAN SHAPE-SHIFT AND CHANGE FORM-

Chen is so entertaining as a character

Jay: its us against the world Kai!

That is smth so personal out of context

Skyler What the hell!!! Ik ur related to chen somehow but to pit Kai against his little brother?!?!?!

Also why is Kai so easy to manipulate

Youre not even here to win??? especially not against Lloyd. Your here for Zane.

Its so weird that only Kai doesnt know how to skate.

Skating isnt that common of a skill why do all these people know how to rollerblade AND shove people while doing it. Do you know how hard that actually is?

Nya (talking to herself): uhhhh nothing unusual to see here… just aaaa technological advanced mobile base camouflaged as a noodle truck 😀

Shes so funny i love her

Clouse: you were once comfortable with lying… it worked on Misako, didnt it?

now thats a low blow. How does he even know about the love letter.

Jay and Lloyd are so cool as a duo in this

Lloyd: you didnt learn that in your mother-son skate off, did you?

Jay: It was a fierce competition Lloyd 😤

Now i cant stop imaging Jay and edna shoving all these mothers and sons on skates while ed cheers in the back

Jays family makes me so soft

KAI DOING THE LITTLE MARCHES 😭😭😭

I remember doing that when I was learning

WAIT THAT WAS ACTUALLY IMPRESSIVE GO KAI

Jay is such a little bastard 💀

Jay dodging Camille as he holds her jade blade: i got it! You want it! I got it! You want it! Come and get it! Come and get it!!

FINALLY they're all on the ninjas side

Wait wait wait how was Lloyd able to turn the buggy into his own vehicle aren't only the techno blades able to do that?

Garmadon everytime Clouse tries to do dark magic: time to tackle this guy.

Why is he so dramatic just punch the pretentious fuck

Skyler: if all of us quit, what tournament would you have?

I feel like this was a moment where skyler stood up to Chen in a way.

Idk just makes me look at it in a different lense now that Ik they're related.

Cole: Zane!!! Your alive! You look- silver?

Zane: titanium. Cole you look, white!

Cole: (bursts out laughing)

the black cole head cannon is so funny in this moment

Cole sounds so happy to see Zane again 🥹

The voice actors are too good.

Guard: wheres Cole.

Cole: right here big guy! Whats wrong? Looks like youve seen a ghost.

They

Did

Not.

[relaxxattack]

hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

-

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

-

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

-

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

[librarycard]

since you've seen catws over 30 times, can you give a summary of the plot? I've actually seen the movie multiple times, but gun to my head I cannot explain the flow of events. I press play and am transported to pure vibes. so i'd like to consider you an expert and helo me with my dilema.

this is so funny yeah i can try. edit: essentially this is not a summary i realized three paragraphs in that i am delivering a play by play with commentary of everything that happens in this movie. im still doing it though sorry

 so basically steve has been adjusting to life in the 21st century and is really struggling with it. hes moved to dc to work for shield, which he understands to be a department that helps folks (which is a dumb thing to assume of any government affiliated organization LOL they were also majorly manipulating him on top of that from the get go so double whammy but ya ya i digress) while on a run, he makes friends with sam wilson, who unlike basically anyone else in the 21st century so far is the only guy to treat him as a normal guy/what he actually is (a veteran w ptsd that 1 lost his best friend 2 has been thrown into a whole new world with no help at all and that the war was literally like what? barely 2 years ago for him?)

anyway after he meets sam he is picked up by nat and they go on a mission with brock rumlow and several shield agents. this mission takes place on a ship in the middle of the ocean where several shield agents are being held hostage by french speaking terrorist dudes. steve (the smart cookie) is like why the hell are shield guys in the middle of the ocean? anyway he thinks hes leading this mission (he is not) and tells everyone what to do to save these hostages (which isnt even the actual mission at all). inevitably this comes to light when he sees nat trying to save some data from the ships computers, as that was HER secret mission. steve is fucking pissed as hell about this and then they got blown up and shit by the french pirates. they get out fine tho

moving on steve confronts fury like. why the hell are the people IM trying to lead being given different info and instructions than me? and fury is like let me tell u about something. and then he tells them about project insight, which is this thing that shield is planning to launch that will be able to basically insta kill any body in the entire world they identify as a threat (threat being vague enough bc well as we can see we learned nothing from basically any part of history at all) before the person can act on their "intended crimes". steve is pissed again bc like who are these guys to determine who is a "threat"? how do you define that? like his iconic line here (iconic 2 me that is) is him saying "this isnt freedom this is fear" cause like it is. losers

and moving on from that we've got a kind of suspicious fury trying to decrypt the data he had nat retrieve. this is presumably bc fury as we know is apparently 5 steps ahead of every fucking body and was already having some concerns about project insight (which again i must say as an aside. any normal person would be concerned.). fury being the head of shield is one of the only individuals who should have total clearance on all shield decisions and projects etc. however, he finds that he does NOT have clearance to access this data. he takes this concern to alexander pierce, the secretary of state is like omg weird :) how weird bro sure i can ask about delaying the project but if ur asking me bro i dont think the other govt bigwigs we got in on this will want to!

anyway moving on once more fury is officially like ok wtf is going on. and is going to meet up with hill. BUT THEN. explody violence killing blah blah blah all these cops and swat members are after him! HIM! HEAD OF SHIELD! how strange! and furys like doin all this shit trying to escape but then his car gets exploded. and oh shit. theres this guy. hes got a mask on. HE WAS THE ONE THAT EXPLODED THE CAR! and hes kind of sexy. and hes approaching. and fury the crazy bitch has used some sort of laser cutter thing to carve a hole through the ground and escape. the absolute legend.

cut to steve going home. he runs into his neighbor who has told him that hes a nurse or some shit. he flirts with her bc hes trying to make a normal life for himself i guess and do normal girl things like date. anyway neighbor girl is like oh btw i think u left or record player on? music has been playing for a while and shit. and steve is immediately like omg rly haha? BUT HE KNOWS HE DIDNT LEAVE THAT SHIT ON BRO! HE KNOWS. and he enters with his guard all up and BOOM theres fury. steve is like wtf are you doing here??? and fury is like SHHHH. bro things are happening its crazy. shield compromised, eyes everywhere, people are listening, the whole shebang man. and steve is like???? wtf dude? and fury gives him a flash drive. AND THEN FURY IS SHOT THROUGH THE WINDOW. CRAZY AS HELL. and NEIGHBOR LADY BREAKS IN. TURNS OUT SHES NOT NEIGHBOR LADY. SHES A SHIELD OPERATIVE THAT IS COVERTLY ASSIGNED TO PROTECT STEVE.

now we got steve chasing over the assailant with his cool tell them im in pursuit line. steve chases this dude across buildings and shit and throws his shield at him when they reach the end of a rooftop. then HOLY FUCK THE GUY. HES CAUGHT THE SHIELD. THIS DUDE JUST CAUGHT A VIBRANIUM SHIELD WITH A COOL ROBOT ARM! OK!

moving on fury is on the operating table and he straight up dies there with maria and nat and steve watching. and i dont wanna look it up but i think here is when steve hides the flash drive in a vending machine behind some gum for some fucking reason. why the hell that would be a good place to hide it idk. anyway steve is summoned to pierce and pierce with his robert redford charm is like so :) anything u wanna tell me. and steve is like. :) no lol. and then he leaves and we’ve got the cool ass elevator scene where steve is with an elevator full of hydra agents and has to fight them all, including brock rumlow from the hostage ship scene at the beginning. he escapes and goes back to get the flash drive and nat has gotten it and blows a bubble in his face cause shes sexy like that. and they have their little moment where he shoves her against a wall and is all up in her face being like WHAT DO YOU KNOW WHATS GOING ON. and nat reveals that she knows who the guy is. the winter soldier. she met him on a mission where she was trying to protect some dude and the WS shot the person THROUGH HER. bye bye bikinis she quips. dw nat ur still sexy 2 me.

they leave and essentially go to a mall have their fake/pretend relationship ao3 moment and use a mall tech shop computer to figure out whats on the flashdrive, which is coordinates to a base. steve is like uMMMMM WTF. I DID BASIC THERE. and they go and discover that theres a SECRET SHIELD BUNKER WITH THIS HUGE ANCIENT ASS SUPERCOMPUTER. AND TO MAKE IT WORSE ON THE COMPUTER IS THE STORED CONSCIOUSNESS OF ARNIM ZOLA NAZI HYDRA SCIENTIST. and zola tells them he was recruited by shield where he helped secretly embed hydra iinto the entirety of the organization and the WS was an assassin they used to kill ppl like howard stark. and then a missile tries to blow them up after zolas gotten out enough cheeky lines and they barely escape with their lives

then: ENTER BIG SEXY. its sam wilsons time to fucking shine when nat and steve go to him for help. sam is like alright lets go and they get his falcon suit. they go and nab jasper sitwell a hydra mole and make him reveal hydra info, ie that hydra has been collecting info on threats to their evil doings (hello duh). then theyre driving and WHAM goodbye sitwell, motherfuckers yanked out the car by the WS. cue huge epic fight scene, best in the mcu if you ask me, where steve and WS end up going head to head and he accidentally rips WS' mask off, revealing BUCKY BARNES, the supposed to be dead bestie of steve rogers. steve says bucky? bucky says. who the hell is bucky? with his sexy underused voice. my beloved.

anyway steve is in an extreme state of shock and bucky, unnerved, runs, and steve sam and nat are all arrested. steve has his new mission acquired moment whereas nat and sam are like man idk.... hes kind of yknow a renowned insane murder machine. steve is like you literally do not get it. hes my fucking cinnamon apple you assholes. i will kill this whole world for him. and they are like damn steve ok AND THEN. VIOLENCE IN THE FUCKING SWAT VEHICLE WHEN ONE SWAT MEMBER STARTS ATTACKA KILLING THE OTHER ONES. and boom thats actually maria hill in disguise. shes like whats up yall. theyre like um. anyway she takes them to FURY, who is ACTUALLY STILL ALIVE AND JUST FAKED HIS DEATH. fury is like you guys have to stop this shit. here are some chips to replace the ones on the helicarriers that will fuck up hydras plans and make the helicarriers only target each other

anyway buckys back with hydra being like um did yall see that? he knew me. and theyre all like gaslight gaslight gaslight brainwash electro shock blah blah blah

moving on its time to fuck shit up. the world security council has shown up to see to the launch of project insight. except NAT IS ONE OF THE WSC IN DISGUISE and she disarms pierce. then fury shows up like hiiii hello in a way that actually doesnt feel super dramatic cause they watch him land and then walk all the way inside like ok. by the time hes there not even super anticlimactic but whatever. anyway fury makes pierce leak all of shields classified info (including nat’s criminal past as part of the red room but shes like its fine its necessary etc) so that ppl know about hydra. and fury shoots and kills pierce bye bye pierce

steve is at this time recruiting all the “good” shield guys and fighting all the hydra agents with sam while trying to get to the helicarriers. they get the first two no prob but before they can do the third one bucky shows up newly mindwiped and fights them super much. he destroys sams suit leaving the fight to just buck and steve. meanwhile brock and sam are fighting slash running and this ends with brock getting exploded to shit and sam jumping into a helicopter to escape from the building. meanwhile bucky and steve are still on the third helicarrier. steve is like babe this isnt u…… come back 2 me……. im with u til the end of the line……. and refuses to fight back and buck is like UMMM WHAT THE FUCK. SHUT THE HELL UP YOU WEIRDO STOP TALKING IM FREAKIN OUT and beats steve the fuck up. during this fight the ship is exploded and steve falls off the ship and into the potomac with bucky watching him fall with his fist raised to land another punch

cut to steve going super under semi unconscious about to fucking drown and someone pulls him out. OH LOOK ITS BUCKY. oh damn hes leaving steve on the shore. goodbye bucky.

now we cut to all the hydra agents being arrested and nat appearing before court for her red room crimes. she is like you wont fucking arrest me you need me. im sexy and competent and you all suck. and theyre all like. yeah ok shes got a point. fury fucking burns all his shit and decides to go hunting hydra in europe, presumed dead by the world. sam is like heyyy steve. whats up. steve is like well. i know he just fucked me up but im gonna go find bucky. i gotta bc i am gay and in love with him and stuff. and sam is like damn. fine ill go too then. meanwhile brock is revealed to have lived though severely burned in the hospital

i am ignoring the mid credits scene bc i fucking hate that stupid bullshit. post credit scene slays though bc its bucky visiting his own memorial in the smithsonian and him being like well damn that is me. ok.

anyway thats the movie. this is long as hell but frankly thats bc i am still insane about catws to this day unfortunately. goodbye

[letthefrogsbe]

remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry. 

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!

[red-sector-rivendell]

media reccs? 👀 since apparently you are a man of good taste?

Wow thank you 😏 I have a masterlist of movies that have changed me I often recommend to people, I'll just copy and paste here with quick synopses lol, it's kinda long. I'm not super great at writing synopses tho so bear with me

Dead Poets Society (1989)

One of my favorite movies of all time and a total classic. It's about a group of boys at a strict boarding school who are inspired by their new English teacher (played by Robin Williams) to think for themselves and chase their dreams. This movie literally changed my life lol

Quadrophenia (1979)

This movie is based off of the story behind the concept album by The Who of the same name. It follow the life of a young man named Jimmy who is in a gang called the Mods. Theres this huge gang war between them and the Rockers (I think that's their name, it's been a while since i watched it) and Jimmy questions his beliefs about coming-of-age and his values in life throughout the film

Cabaret (1972)

Based off of the Broadway musical of the same name, this movie is about a British man who moves to Germany during the beginning of the rise of Nazis. He meets a woman who basically turns his world upside down, and it follows their love affair and sexuality and anti-semitism, and it's hilarious and heart wrenching and a beautiful movie

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

This is a super trippy romance film. Basically in the universe of this movie, theres a technology that is developed that can delete memories of an entire person from your mind while you are in a dream-like state, and the main character of this movie (played by Jim Carrey) decides to undergo the procedure after a bad breakup. Its soooo good I highly recommend this movie

It's Such a Beautiful Day (2012)

This is an animated film about a man named Bill who is going through brain cancer. Its told from the perspective of an unnamed narrator essentially communicating everything Bill sees, hears, and experiences. This is the movie that got me into film and it is still a complete masterpiece and one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen

The Dirties (2013)

Loved this one a lot back in high school, it's been a while since I watched it. This is a film made in Canada about a high schooler named Matt Johnson and his friend Owen who decide to make a short film for their class about them killing the gang at their school that bullies them, and things take a dark turn. It's a hilarious movie and hits pretty close to home for me in a lot of ways haha

Logan's Run (1976)

Great movie, pretty cheesy though so be warned. This is based off a book with the same name, and it takes place in the future where most of humanity is wiped out except for a small society that lives under a domed structure. No one is allowed to leave the dome, and to control overpopulation, no one is allowed to live past the age of 30. It's really bizarre but I love this movie

Donnie Darko (2001)

Pretty sure this was Jake Gyllenhaal's first big hit when he was super young (I think he was like 19 in this movie but I'm not sure) basically about this kid, Donnie Darko, who is somewhat schizophrenic and has a habit of sleepwalking. After one particular incident he has a near-death experience and starts seeing a man in a bunny costume everywhere who makes him do weird stuff. Another pretty trippy movie with a crazy ending

American Psycho (2000)

Honestly I'm sure a few on this list you've probably seen (most likely this one included) but I didnt wanna leave any out because they're all so good. If you haven't seen this, it's about a Wall Street executive named Patrick Bateman who is a materialistic phony by day and a serial killer by night. I tried to read the book but the inner dialogue was really hard to get through lmao. Awesome movie though huge recommend.

Clockwork Orange (1971)

Yet another trippy one. And fuck it's been a long time since I've seen it so I might get some stuff wrong here. But it's basically about this serial rapist guy who hangs out with this group of goons and they all like to go beat up homeless people and shit, but the main character gets captured and has to go through reformation therapy to make him a better person. It's an extremely bizarre movie but soooo good and kind of hilarious lol

Creep (2014)

Of course this is on my list haha. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a horror movie about this freelance film guy who answers an ad on craigslist to help a man with cancer film a movie for his unborn son. And shit gets weird real fast. One of my favorite horror movies ever, I wouldnt say it's super scary but it's fun as fuck

Hereditary (2018)

If I'm being honest, I don't like a lot of big movies made in super recent years and especially not horror movies (mostly because they're all cheap cash grabs with no substance) but this one is an exception for me. Hereditary is fucking masterful in my opinion, legitimately creepy as hell and well-produced and well written. To put the plot as vaguely as possible without spoiling anything, it's about a family (mostly the mother) who go through some crazy fucked up shit. That's literally all I can say without giving anything away. Super good flick, big recommend

Gattaca (1997)

This list isn't in any particular order, and I love all these movies to death, but if I had to rank them this would probably be on the lower end. It's not a bad movie, it's still great but it's just not as life-changing as the other ones lmao. This takes place in the future where genetic modifications have progressed to a point where you can modify your unborn child's DNA to have the perfect baby. This has led to, essentially racial bias against those who never had that procedure when they were born. The main character was not one of these "special" children, but he wants an extremely prestigious job which requires that of the employee. Through the film, he is trying to fake his identity and fool the company into thinking he is one of these perfect people. Still a great film

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Johnny Depp, man, he is something else. I LOVE this movie. Based off a true story and a book written by the man who lived it, Hunter S. Thompson, this follows the adventure of the writer and his attorney as they go on a drugged-out, psychedelic romp through Las Vegas with the original intention being to cover a story on a motorcycle race, but things go off the rails as they both terrorize the entire city in a way. Just a fun ride the whole way, a great movie

The Truman Show (1998)

God I'm realizing this list is long as fuck. Don't watch all of these movies, it might take you a lifetime lmao. Anyway, this is a classic Jim Carrey movie and another one you've probably seen. But again, if you haven't, this movie is about a man whose entire life has been fabricated and shot for television without him knowing. Super great, super moving, fantastic film 10 outta 10 I gotta wrap this shit up

A Scanner Darkly (2006)

A lesser known Keanu Reeves movie, but fuck I wish more people have seen this. This is one of my favorite movies of all time, and it's based off a book which is just as amazing. This movie takes place in the near future, where facial recognition technology has progressed wayyy too far, and drugs have gotten to the point of no return. The plot follows a detective who is undercover in a junkie house trying to figure out who is the top of the drug dealing totem pole, but ends up wrapped in the junkie lifestyle a little too deeply. Seriously, I recommend this movie to everyone who asks, it's so damn good

Fight Club (1999)

Another popular one. If you havent seen it, it's based off a book by Chuck Palahniuk following the story of a man (the main character actually doesnt have a name lol) who meets a guy named Tyler Durden who changes his entire perspective on how the world works. They start an underground boxing club together to help themselves and other men blow off steam and get away from the capitalist consumer-centric lifestyle they are forced into. Big twist at the end, great movie five stars on yelp

Harold and Maude (1971)

This is a weird one. Gotta say. It's about a guy in his 20s who meets an old woman at a funeral and falls in love with her. Sounds pretty ok at face value but theres a lot of really strange subplots and a huuuuge twist at the end (one of the subplots being the guy compulsively fakes his suicide to get his mother's attention) big recommend

Polyester (1981)

This one I cant even explain u just have to watch it its fucking bizarre

Fargo (1996)

Ok lightning round on the synopses, this movie is about a man who wants to commit fraud by hiring guys to kidnap his wife so her father can pay them ransom and instead the husband gets the money but everything goes wrong it's really good

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Another modern movie I actually like, last time I watched this I was on shrooms and it was crazy but it's about this hotel right on the border of california and (Nevada I think?) And all these weird people are staying at it and there are twists at every turn and chris hemsworth is a cult leader in it its great

Memento (2000)

GREAT MOVIE GOD PLEASE WATCH THIS ONE it's about a man who develops short term memory loss after witnessing the rape and murder of his wife AND WHEN I SAY THERE ARE TWISTS LIKE EVERY TEN MINUTES I MEAN IT. The film is chronologically backwards, in that the first scene takes place at the end of the story and works back from there in increments of like 5 minutes. Basically each scene is a segment of time that this guy remembers before his memory loss kicks in and he forgets and FUCK it's so good please god watch it

Almost Famous (2000)

This is another one that would probably be low on my ranking but still a great and fun movie, it's about this kid that wants to write articles about rock stars for the rolling stone (based off a true story btw) and he ends up running away to go ride on a tour bus with some band and gets into all types of shenanigans and its great and sad

Parasite (2019)

Another modern movie I love, fuck this is getting too long lmao. Poor family wants to make money and they hatch a scheme to pretend to be bougie and work for this rich family but shit gets weird and everything goes wrong and it's so good (also literally the only film ever that made me speechless afterwards)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Pretty much lives up to the hype, I totally forgot the plot but it's pretty damn good I remember that lmao

The Warriors (1979)

Fun movie, theres a bunch of teen gangs in New York and the leader of all of em is like "hey we should rally all the gangs together and fuck up the cops so we can rule this city" but then he gets shot by someone in the crowd and the gang The Warriors gets blamed so the whole movie is them running from all the other gangs so they can get back to home base and it's just an all around fun time movie

12 Monkeys (1995)

THIS MOVJE IS CRAZY it takes place in the future where a virus has almost completely wiped humans off the face of the earth so these scientists send this guy back in time to figure out where it came from so they can stop it from ever happening but obviously everything goes wrong and yadda yadda yadda it's amazing

Waking Life (2001)

Gonna preface this by saying this film is definitely not for entertainment, it's kind of an arthouse-type flick. It's the type of movie you have to think really really hard about to watch. The basic plot is the main character is stuck inside his own lucid dream, and is walking around listening to all these characters in his dream talk to him about, idk like the meaning of life and consciousness and shit. It's really good if you're in the mood for that type of thing.

Okay I'm finally done, you probably didnt expect this but I've been meaning to put my movie recommendations on this blog anyway haha. I deleted some just cause it was getting wayyyy too long. If u want a shorter list I can just give u like a top 5 in DMs but there u go have at it, every movie on that list is a banger I swear

[thoughts-of-the-unheard]

oh nothing in a book has ever made me as angry as fucking pissed off as i am now about the end of chain of iron and i have a lot to say on it (i have more to say on the last few chapters of chain of iron than i did on the entirety of the folk of the air series)

ill start with being glad lucie was able to raise jesse but definite reylo vibes there and im ignoring the end of that so watch me ignore if lucie dies ill be like yea ya know shes just,,, somewhere else but i hated how many secrets she kept from fucking everyone i mean she didnt tell a single person the whole truth of anything shes got secrets on top of secrets and thats not good but hey matthews drinking isnt good either and no one but the lucie and cordelia ever really say anything about that so theres that and im not counting james’ you dont love anyone as much as you love that bottle or w/e he said bc that wasnt talking to him to try to help and get him to stop drinking that was just a hit bc they were fighting and i hate that i hate that they were fighting bc they wouldnt have been if it wasnt for that fucking bracelet and which has caused so many fucking problems that i could cry in indignation bc its not its not fucking fair james spent the last what three years of his life in a fog not being able to feel and not being able to notice his parabatai slowly spiraling into a drunken depression from something thats not his fault at all i mean yes it is his fault that his mother took the potion but it is not his fault that the baby died thats no ones fault but whoever sold him the potion and yea he shouldnt have bought it in the first place but he was kid and he thought that was the only way he could get the truth and its unfair its fucking unfair and alistair god alistair he knows what he did in school was wrong but he saw it as the only way and now hes trying to make up for it and apologise and be a better fucking person and thomas sees that and thomas loves him for that and alistair wont let himself be loved and its not fair and anna oh anna talk about not letting yourself be loved she put on such a good front she did but she shouldnt have ariadne loves her and wants to be with her fully with her but anna has to understand the stigma of that and why ariadne cant come out yet hell thats still a problem today but we wont get into that because anna clearly loves ariadne but shes too afraid of getting hurt again and frankly she should just go for it i mean so what if you get hurt again at least youll finally feel something because i know she feels nothing for all those other girls i know theyre just replacements for ariadne and it isnt fair and speaking    of   replacements    fucking grace fuck grace but fucking grace just casually destroying james life listen i dont give a shit how she grew up i couldnt care less about how tatiana treated her and how scared she was of her because if shed just fucking helped then she wouldnt have to worry about a damn thing from tatiana i mean theres a number of things grace couldve done she couldve told the merry thieves everything and they couldve defeated belial like they are now and then no one would be around to help tatiana and grace couldve told anyone in the clave about all of tatianas shit and then they wouldnt have underestimated her and she wouldve been in a proper prison and thus unable to escape so damn easily and thus not fucking able to get to grace okay shes a fucking idiot and i hate her and i hate reading about her and im fucking disappointed in her for not taking the damn bracelet off okay i had very fucking low standards for her but i hoped she would take the bracelet off and at the very least i thought she could fucking not manipulate him further like god damn girl james is a much nicer and understanding person than i am and he would try to protect her from tatiana if he knew that grace was being threatened by her if grace took the bracelet off and told him the truth he would help her i fully believe that but since he had to find out on his own he was furious as he should be but i dont think he had to be nice to her when she showed up at the end there i mean i wouldve just yanked her in the house and started yelling at her right there fuck pretending his still under that enchantment fuck talking to her in private okay id chew her out in the entryway its not like cordelia doesnt need to know she fucking does and i think her finding out by overhearing james arguing with grace is actually a fantastic way to find out because she gets to hear everything all of what james feels and all of what grace did completely unfiltered not that james would try to hide it from her but hed definitely try to soften the blow and i just think she needs to hear the whole truth and AND i really fucking hate when characters overhear only part of something and assume the worst and run away its so common and i hate it so much and i hate how she ran to matthews because i knew it was going to happen and i knew matthew was in love with her and that it was already straining their bond because no one fucking realised that james was madly fucking in love with cordelia because of that fucking bracelet have i mentioned have i mentioned how much that bracelet pisses me off i dont think i have lets get into it so how james was unable to feel properly for three years and how his head was so foggy he was unable to think properly too and how because of that he missed matthew becoming a drunk and how the merry thieves look to james as their leader so if james isnt saying anything about it then there must not be anything to say and how james was already in love with cordelia before the bracelet and thats part of why grace couldnt control him and how he loved her for years how he was in love with her for years how no one knew this not even him because everyone thought he was in love with grace how cordelia was in love with him but thought he was in love with grace how cordelia got married to him knowing she was in love with him and thinking he was in love with someone else how she could tell he wanted her but thinking he just wanted her body and that he was still in love with grace how she’d rather have some of him than none of him at all how he picked out everything in their house with cordelia in mind how he remembered that she loves chess and she never thought he would how he learned a whole other language for her how he immediately checks on her after every battle how everyone, especially cordelia, just writes all this off as who knows what because he cant be in love with cordelia if hes in love with grace and hes obviously in love with grace how no one could ever notice there was something wrong because they were feeling the effects too how james was so in love with cordelia that that love unintentionally broke an enchantment made specifically for james by a Prince Of Hell one of the most powerful beings the entire species will ever meet and i think that covers the gracelet situation but i keep thinking of the scene where the bracelet cracks when grace first went to curzon street and kissed james and james’ mind literally thinking it was cordelia because who else would he be kissing and afterward grace saying ‘i dont know who you think you were kissing, james herondale, but it wasnt me’ and im like damn right bitch get fucked but back to cordelia running to matthews okay i know she didnt know matthew was in love with her so she wasnt doing anything wrong going to him but i kept thinking they were going to kiss or something because we all know matthews in love with her and there were a bunch of hints that cordelia might be attracted to matthew and she was upset about james and i just kept thinking something bad would happen and i was right but shit i didnt think id be like that i had no idea matthew was leaving for paris and even less of an idea that cordelia would join him and the thing is i cant even be mad i cant blame her i would probably do the same thing hell id probably ask to go with and im very proud of her for saying she’d go If matthew stops drinking i really appreicate that and i hope he gets better but the all those misses how james left the house only minutes after cordelia and arrived at matthews only minutes after they left and how he could see them at the train station could see them getting on the train and leaving and leaving him behind because his sister is missing and he shouldve ran and caught them and begged them to stay if not just to help find lucie because they both think of lucie as a sister and they absolutely wouldve stayed to help her and then there would be the chance for james to explain the gracelet situation and everything would be fine it would fine eventually and everything would be okay but NO and ive said a lot but i havent even mentioned cordelia being a paladin for fucking lilith yet where did that come from i was not expecting that ill tell ya see i thought it was odd that wayland the smith would still be alive and that it wasnt mentioned in any of the other books and i thought it was odd that some apparently god-like blacksmith would be wearing such an elegant jeweled necklace and i thought it was odd that magnus would be back from the spiral labyrinth for just a day and would be staying with hypatia instead of ya know his own place but shit id never have put it together as one person let alone lilith and i cant say it came out of nowhere because it said that edom used to be liliths so it would make sense that she would want belial gone so she could have it back but still that was unexpected but im not disappointed i mean im obviously upset that cordelia is now pledged to the mother of demons and feels like she cant even touch a weapon speaking of which what did she do with cortana where did she put it she said she dealt with it which makes me nervous but we know she couldnt have broken it or anything a) because i dont think she physically can and b) emma has cortana later but i think cordelia should keep cortana close since its the only thing that can mortally would belial and apparently he only needs one more before something happens im guessing before hes like gone gone so she definitely needs cortana and lilith wants her to kill belial so i think she should and if shes stuck as liliths paladin after that and never wants to touch a weapon again so be it but get rid of belial first ya know anyway i think there was something else i wanted to say but i cant remember so if you read all of this holy shit im sorry thats a lot i hope it was entertaining at least and i hope i didnt also get you pissed off

[jubberry]

I agree sooo much with your s2 salt. Like, don't get me wrong, on the surface there's some good jokes, good actor chemistry and dramatic story beats BUT s2 ends up feeling a bit hollow. It honestly feels like several seasons worth (and different genres) of plots written mostly separately and then slapped together. I could forgive most of it if they didn't butcher the characters. Seriously this could have been a great forgiveness story but nooope. Everyone feels like a fake version of s1 selves

I agree! I thought s2 was a lot of fun, especially when I first watched since I watch it with my family and they were all just casual fans. I was very determined to not take it too seriously cause I didn’t wanna get disappointed. But you know what, I cant help that cause I run a tua (vanya) blog 😩 I completely respect people who still enjoy it though. Sometimes different fans are looking for different things in fiction, or interpret fiction in different ways in general and thats okay, so yeah they’re definitelly ‘allowed’ to like it.

But I agree s2 was definitely going for that mainstream superhero vibe. If you just look at the last episodes alone, s1’s ep 10 had everybody working together, and all their roles in the team was consistent to how their characters has been portrayed for the rest of the season, as well as how that character fitted in the family dynamic. Vanya’s powers and all the random shit she can do actually had me shook but it made sense because the whole point of the season was to lead up to that scene where her powers completely overwhelm the world. Even the ending had me really excited for whats to come. S1 was a lot of character building, and the final ep was like a reward because its a taste of what they will be like as a superhero family based on all that and I was hyped for it.

But s2 ep10 is like..... wtf. The handler summons all the commission assassins but somehow they cant hit a moving target in an open field when their literal job is to shoot people? The fact that she literally just puts all of them in the same place... so when vanya wipes them out thats her entire army gone because she apparently doesnt know how to strategise.... The fact that Luther can get shot to death but somehow in the first ep of the season he tanks a rocket? Diego being able to bend bullets out of nowhere, even though he never even talked about or showed any indication to wanting to learn about his powers? It just feels like they wanted it to be bigger and bigger, like they sorta was thinking ‘so what would be super cool to put in s2’ and plopped it in there with no build up or explanation. The only thing there that made sense in there was five’s powerup. Im not even remotely excited for the sparrows, but at least its something new.

Compare any of Vanya’s scene with the scene of her suit changing colors because of the raw intensity of her powers and imo, not one of her scenes can top the feral excitement i get when i watch that.

S1 was really unique because it out character development first and their powers were secondary to that. It was a very intimate, very grounded story for its genre that still had funny moments. So at the end of the day, you can make all sorts of character and story metas and it feels like theres always more to uncover. If you do that with s2 you just find more holes. Either that or people have to hc whatever sort of character development they got because the change in character was never fully explained. And even the hcs trample over the explanation that was already set in the first place (ie. people explaining vanyas sudden control of her powers).

The characters and their powers were wildly inconsistent. And that would be ok if this was s1 of a different show, but this is s2! Its a continuation of something else, so... why?

[yasminbenoit]

I’m so proud to announce that I am the first-ever openly asexual person in Paper Magazine! It’s a great step for asexual visibility, I can’t believe I’m in a publication like this speaking about the importance of asexual visibility. Your support has made this happen. We are here, we are being seen. 

Spread the word! 

When we talk about the LGBTQIA+ community, there still isn't a lot of talk about the "A" portion, and that's something UK-based model and activist Yasmin Benoit is actively trying to change.

As an asexual and aromantic person, Benoit does not experience sexual or romantic attraction. And while she's spent the majority of her life comfortable with this knowledge, it's also something she knows isn't the case for many others — and a lot of this can be chalked up to a dearth of asexual and aromantic representation.

So, using the platform and visibility she built as a model, Benoit has spent the past two years making videos, writing posts, and giving talks about the topic, which is still rife with misinformation and harmful stereotypes. According to her, "when you say you don't experience romance and sexuality and that those things are, innately, not a part of you, people think you're less human," which she says is a result of the importance society places sexuality.

"[They say] you're robotic. You're psychopathic. I often get narcissistic," as Benoit explains, before launching into the misconceptions she has to deal with on a daily basis. The biggest one? Her occupation, especially when it comes to her work with lingerie, almost always elicits a confused public reaction. Even though the rationale behind modeling lingerie is simple: she likes the garments and enjoys mixing up her portfolio.

"People find it weird as an overlap, because I'm asexual," she explains. "People think if you're modeling lingerie, something sexual is going on. They don't realize I'm just standing there for a couple hours, making a little conversation and shaking hands, before I go home."

Yet despite Benoit's sound logic, she says she still, on the daily, runs into a lot of questions surrounding her job, which is "seen as an oxymoron" — likely due to the inherent sexualization of lingerie modeling. That said, she says this isn't the most troubling assumption she's had to deal with, as exemplified by the myriad of invasive questions pertaining to why she's asexual and aromantic.

"Literally, yesterday, I had a man insisting I had been molested, and I was just hiding it and repressing it," she uses as an example. "He was insistent that that was obviously my issue. They think sexual attraction is the most human thing ever, and it's impossible to not feel that. You can't be human if you don't feel anything."

Sadly though, this sort of presumptuous projection and unfounded theorization has been happening to her from before she even figured out that there was terminology for how she felt. As Benoit says, she'd constantly be "quizzed on my sexuality" from the time she was around 9.

"Once other people around me started getting more hormonal, more into dating and going out with each other, I was like, 'This is kind of silly. I just want to stick by myself and play with my Legos,'" she recalls. "I assumed it would kick in for me, but it wasn't something I encouraged."

Unfortunately, Benoit says that once people began noticing that she "wasn't reacting to things the same way" as other girls her age — talking about her crushes or fantasizing about boys — they began coming up with theories, with some people even going so far as to tell her about their hypotheses, which ranged from theories about her being gay, a religious prude, a potential survivor of sexual abuse, or "just mentally slow."

"Because I wasn't reacting like everyone else, they concluded that I was stupid," Benoit explains, also mentioning that she's had to put up with other people assuming that she was repressing sexual trauma or that she was hiding a secret perversion. "But I just didn't understand why other people were trying to work it out for me, because there wasn't really anything to work out. I hadn't been molested. I don't have sexual hang-ups. I'm not against sex. There was nothing to work out."

That said, even once she learned about asexuality and aromanticism, that apparently "didn't stop people from coming up with theories" — including her own father, who she says recently went so far as to accuse her of pedophilia. But all the naysay has also, in part, spurred Benoit to dive into the world of activism.

As Benoit started gaining traction as a model, she began toying with the idea of mentioning her asexuality online in an effort to reach others grappling with their asexuality. This all resulted in a casual post about the topic, as well as the release of a video called "Things Asexual Girls Don't Want to Hear" — something she genuinely "didn't think people would care that much about," but ended up "spiraling, because not a lot of people talk about it."

"The asexual community was very happy to see someone with a platform discussing it," Benoit explains, later adding that she had "people messaging me how much it meant to them, which [made me feel like], if doing something so simple is really impacting people's lives, I might as well keep doing it." Benoit adds that she'd love to see more asexual and aromantic role models out there, especially since the stigma is so prevalent. After all, as Benoit explains, a lack of visibility and understanding surrounding asexuality and aromanticism makes those grappling with their identities much more hesitant to "come out" — whether we're talking about men, for whom sexual desire is "seen as such a quintessential trait of masculinity," or an asexual person who doesn't want to potentially "embarass" their romantic partner.

For now though, Benoit is doing what she can, with her most prominent push toward asexual visibility so far being a hashtag she started last year called #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike, which aims to "dispel the idea that theres an asexual way to look or dress."

"People often say I don't look asexual, and I don't dress asexual, but what do you think that looks like then?" she explains. "I was trying to show the diversity of the community and, at the same time, give a tool back to others, so that they can represent themselves without relying on the media."

"There is a lot of stigma still around, so asexual people can go decades without realizing there's a word for what they're not feeling."

That said, Benoit's also quick to posit that while her asexuality and aromanticism have "never been a secret," it took her until that point to "realize I was filling a space and providing that visibility, especially for asexual minorities." That said, she also mentions that being a Black asexual activist is also an especially tenunous task, as there's a huge racial disparity when it comes to visibility.

"People perceive my asexuality differently than white asexual people," Benoit says, before mentioning the televised version of a documentary that she was cut out of — something she believes is "reflective of people higher up in the company who looked at us and was like, 'She doesn't make sense.'"

However, in the uncut version posted online, Benoit said the comments about her were much more "sexually aggressive and racialized" than what the other white activists got. "There was a lot more anger directed at me," she says. "People find it harder to compute that a Black woman can be asexual just because we're hypersexualized a lot more."

And though she acknowledges the difficulties of being a Black activist, Benoit says she's undeterred in her mission to continue spreading visibility and tackling the misconceptions and stigma surrounding asexuality and aromanticism. Her next steps? According to Benoit, she's currently working on a BBC radio series about asexuality, starring in another documentary about the topic, and potentially doing more talks at sex-positivity conferences and international Pride events. However, she's also eager to help organize more events in the UK that would provide physical spaces for asexual and aromantic people to convene and feel seen as well as supported by others.

"There is a lot of stigma [and misconception] still around, so even asexual people can go decades without realizing there's a word for what they're not feeling," Benoit says. "That has to change."

Article written by Sandra Song.

Hair & MUA: Fey Adediji (@beautybyfey_) Photography: Matt Parker (@mtyparks) Lingerie: Playful Promises Model: Yasmin Benoit (@theyasminbenoit)

[la5t-res0rt]

Wanted to ask about beetlelyds, sorry, I thought it was technically cannon? Like in the old comics after the show ended she grew up and married him. Sorry I’m an old school fan and have no idea why this whole thing is such a big deal. Wasn’t the actor like 20 too? I’m sorry if I sound very dumb. I’m not used to this new tumblr.

youre fine you are one hundred percent allowed to especially when you do it civilly as you have done here

first of all the biggest issue faced in the whole what is and is not canon debate is the fact that there are three (four if you count the limited comics run) publicized iterations of my media

i will go over each very briefly just kidding this is going to a long answer so i will spare the dashboard with a readmore

there is the movie which im sure you dont need me to explain the plot since youre an old school fan but basically the climax is that yes beetlejuice does go for the marriage angle in exchange for stopping the exorcism of adam and barbara and his motive for this is so that he can cause as much chaos as he wants on the mortal coil but his plan is thwarted when barbara rides a sandworm into the house which promptly eats beetlejuice sending him to bureaucratic death limbo

the end of the movie features the deetz and the maitlands happily living together with lydia havign a new appreciation for her situation and beetlejuice gets his head made real small which is very funny haha 

so no in the movie they are not canon editors note the actress who played lydia winona ryder was a teenager while filming the movie she turned 17 the year it released 

the next is the cartoon which i will admit has the most grounds for being considered canon but in the end the show is about a middle schooler and her best friend who is a ghost which in itself is a pretty iffy gray area sort of thing but for a childrens cartoon to work a friendship is better than the obvious enemy status they held in the movie

anyway in the cartoon they are potrayed to be very close friends with lydia being the person beetlejuice cares about the most and honestly if you were to watch it with no prior knowledge of the media and if you ignored their massive and obvious age difference than yeah you probably would read it as a romantic relationship 

however lydia is a middle schooler and that is simply immoral

there have been writers for the cartoon who have been credited to say that a relationship is what they were trying to invoke but for obvious reasons they couldnt exactly move forward with that angle with them establishing that lydia is a child in middle school and a fully grown adult man dating a child who is in middle school is immoral and also illegal in the united states and in canada 

this isnt a good argument for whether or not something is canon and i will tell you why with one simple name and that is luke weber

if you dont know who luke weber is he was a storyboard artist on the cartoon steven universe he is known for making a lot of self ship artwork of him and the character pearl

he worked on the show isnt his material canon no of course it isnt it wasnt put in the actual publication and also if memory serves he was eventually asked to leave the project after he drew art of the shows creator giving him permission to date pearl and calling them her otp and a lot of fans hated this because the most generally accepted interpretation of pearls character is that she is sapphic so a lot of people took issue however that again is just a widely perceived headcanon it is never stated what her actual sexuality is no one in that show is because it isnt a show about that its about wait im getting off topic sorry

what im saying is what can truly be considered canon is what you see on the screen and with the cartoon they are definitely the most friendly with each other and that is why so many people in the beetlebabe shipping community take so much stock in the cartoon because it is the easiest to read the relationship between the mas romantic although that is not what the show actually provides in black and white terms

interpretation does not equal canon and in this case no matter what anyone says the fact remains that in the cartoon itself they are friends good friends yes but friends all the same

it is definitely not a show about a grown man grooming an adult and if it were you definitely shouldn’t be stanning it the extreme because grooming a minor is wrong and it is apparently a problem in the fandom

anyway if the cartoon and the movie are both products of their time and there was more leniency on content bear in mind this was the same era as notorious animation powerhouse and known predator john k who was a showrunner on ren and stimpy and he maintained a relationship with a teenager which was an open secret that nobody really took issue with because in that time being a woman in the animation industry was tricky business and your career could be ended easily if you rejected advances luckily time has moved forward and the animation industry although still full of problems of a similar nature at least people are getting called out and punished for it

you can look more into that yourself its really upsetting though

as for comics i havent been able to find good scans of them and im not willing to purchase them but in my search i never found anything about the two of them ever being married in the cartoon again because she is a child i did find a cover where he appears to be getting married and hes asking lydia to get him out of it but im not sure where the comic actually goes all i know is she is standing off to the side shrugging and looking like she doesnt really care

anyway that brings us to the musical which is set in the modern day 

in the original libretto lydia is described as thirteen but since they got an actress who was older in the updated librettos she is listed as 15 and the story is pretty similar to the movie the young girl befriends ghosts and they try to scare her family out etc etc

the major difference between the film and the musical are that lydia and beetlejuice are more like friends like in the cartoon 

she summons him to help scare after the maitlands attempt doesnt really work so he shows up and they have fun terrorizing people together however she drops him for the opportunity to perhaps get her mom back but when no one will help she goes back to beetlejuice who tricks her into almost exorcising barbara

she agrees to marry him in order to stop the exorcism and he only wants to get married so he can be alive again and cause problems on the mortal coil like in the movie in the musical he states several times its a green card thing whihc obviously doesnt make it okay but still

anyway lydia tricks him and runs off into the underworld before the wedding can happen blah blah blah she goes back blah blah and she agrees to go through with the wedding to save her friends and family with a plan to make him go away for good

theres a very tongue and cheek song called creepy old guy which points out how wrong the whole thing is but everyone is going along with it in a very comedic matter and it includes the line 

i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright

basically saying yeah this is very very wrong anyway they do get married and beeltjeuice is alive for like 6 seconds before lydia stabs him to death with bad art and he dies thus nullifying the marriage because death do you part etc

so in the musical no at the end of the show they are not canon because he is dead their marriage is nullified and they go their separate ways

anyway sorry about that i just need to make it very clear that these three properties are all very distinct from each other and basically all three are indeed canon since they are publicized material and arguing the validity of which one is pointless editors note all actresses who played with the exception of dana steingold were minors for the majority of their runs as lydia with sophia ann caruso the originator of the role turning 18 during the run and dana being in her late twenties presley ryan however was a minor the whole time and still is one

tldr no they aren’t canon but to the credit of some people in this fandom their interpretation isnt too far of a stretch thanks to the era and some of the writers wishing to imply a relationship between an adult and a child

i also need to address how this is all a big deal and i suggest you take a peak through my discourse tag and check out @leedia‘s blog to see some of the more harmful things done by beetlebabe shippers

the beetlejuice fandom is home to many minors after the musical came out since musical fandom is vast and the ages of its members varies and normalizing pedophilia is harmful to them not to mention the people who have been effected by sexual harassment at the hands of adults

both sides have victims of csa but one side continues to perpetuate the cycle by showing time and time again that this behavior is normal and easily romanticized in the name of coping and literally anyone who has ever been to a good and credible therapist could tell you that posting cp even if it is simulated cp isnt a really good way to cope and you can get mad at me for saying that its totally fine but and im going to remove my character veil here for just a second as a csa survivor myself i think its harmful to not only myself but many others ok the veil is back down

tldr again there is a lot of bullying and harassment going on with both sides having their own issues but there is one side whos issues run a bit deeper in my humble opinion 

thank you for your question it allowed me to talk a lot you are welcome to discuss further with me in dms if you wish i honestly recommend giving the musical a listen because it is very fun and despite what some people say its very clever and if you get a chance to see a boot of it its visually stunning

one last note that i couldnt really fit in here but a large portion of the beetlebabes shipping community ignore the musical because it openly condemns the idea of beeltejuice and lydia having a relationship and a lot of the antis take issue with much of the writing and characterizations of the cartoon just a note that i think is important since were talking about canon

[captain-jinguji]

Sorry for asking again because your writing is good but what would the boys, (all 3 or 2 or even 1! Your choice!) Reactions be if their crush that they had a crush on for 1234567810 years confesses that they like them? How would they be?

Hey love! Theres NO LIMIT to how many requests you can send, so send as many as you want! I feel like HEAVENS doesn't get a lot of love so i wrote for all of them :3

STARISH + QUARTET NIGHT + HEAVENS reacting to their crush liking them back 

STARISH: 

Natsuki: 

Doesn't even let you finish the sentence before he embraces you. All he heard was "...and I like you, like, as more than a friend." And was overcome with joy. "Awee! I was so worried (Y/N)-chan! I thought you didnt like me like that. I'm so glad you feel the same!!" 

Tokiya: 

Was planning to tell you over a cute little date. Had everything planned out and the dinner went so perfect. He was so nervous underneath his little façade and took your hand in his to kind of ground himself but then you blurted out that you like him and he was kind of shook? He was the one who was supposed to say it? What? Just blinks at you for a second and then softly smiles "I was just about to say that but i suppose you beat me to it. I like you too, (Y/N), I hope we can expand our relationship." 

Cecil: 

You were probably listening to one of his stories of Agnapolis when you just commented how cute he was by accident and silence fell over you two. He'd try to laugh it off at first until he realizes the opportunity but then you apologized and said that you always thought he was attractive and that you like him way more than a friend and hes overcome with such joy! 10/10 jumps into your arms and tells you that he's felt the same way. "I love you, too, my princess!" Plz dont comment on how he went straight to the big words. He truly does love you. 

Ren: 

Doesnt talk about his feelings and tried to avoid them for soooo long but then you just had to go ahead and step in front of him like that. On one hand, a huge pressure is lifted off of his chest that you feel the same way, on the other hand he wanted to confess in the most romantic way possible? "Lady… *chuckles* I was supposed to tell you that. Either way, I feel the same way." 

Otoya: 

Honestly it's so obvious that he likes you because he's just a blushing stuttering mess all the time around you. He always thought he messed up his chances by being so awkward so when you tell him you like him too he almost breaks down crying because omg you like him too!!! Grabs your shoulders and almost yells, "I like you too (Y/N)! A-and i have for a while… youre so pretty and kind and you never judge… and funny and you stick around and I want you to be with me forever and…." Please just love this boy ;-; 

Syo: 

You guys were so close and it was almost painful every time you'd do the simplest things together. You could be walking down the hall and your hands accidentally brushed or watch King of Fighting and you just happen to lay your head on his shoulder. God he has been falling for you so bad and he just couldn't bring himself to say so, but when you had the guts and told him that you like him too, he almost had a heart attack. "(Y/N)... This whole time I wanted to tell you that… I cant believe you feel the same" softly embraces you and doesnt let go for a while; hes so happy. 

Masato: 

Boy he likes to think he can hide his crush pretty well and apparently so except that everyone knows except you two. He is so nervous all the time, so scared of messing up and or you finding him boring and not impressive enough. But every time you sit together and talk about life and every time you're willingly close to him he feels like he does have a chance and then he actually does? Almost spits out his tea when you tell him and you might take it as a negative response so he quickly apologizes and explains that he likes you too "... Y-you have been on o-on my mind and i-in my heart  for s-so long and… I can't keep this inside me a-any longer… I like you too, p-please be m-mine..?" So nervous. Almost passes out. Never thought this would happen. 

QUARTET NIGHT 

Reiji: 

Somewhere in his mind he had no doubt about the fact that you like him too, but still he couldn't shake off the feeling of what would happen if you did not see him as that. He's getting old, and he knows, and any relationship that may come his way, he wants that one to be the last because he doesn't have time for games anymore… so when you tell him that you believe he's the one and that you want to be with him for as long as possible he's so shook. "(N/N)-chan… I'm so happy you feel the same way!! I've liked you for so long… be mine?!" Goes in to hug you and somehow almost kisses you which may or may not have been intentional. 

Ranmaru: 

Doesnt wanna talk about it. Only Reiji knows about his crush and ONLY because Reiji is nosy AF. Thinks he could have a shot but thinks you deserve better. So terrified of rejection no cap. Was gonna take his feelings to the grave, but then you spilled your own feelings out to him one evening over movies and take out and he almost choked on his pasta. You? Like him? Too??? Literally grabs your shoulders "eh??!! You like me??!! I have literally been trying to tell you that for AGES and here you go so easily saying that? Tch… just be mine already, babe." Grumpy emotional. Just lay your head on his chest and watch his blush spread across his cheek plz. It's adorable. 

Camus: 

He had everything to offer you and more and yet he could just not bring himself to tell you how he feels. His pride wouldnt let him. Let someone have emotional control over him? No thank you he will just bury his feelings and hope they go away but oh here you two go again to another pastries shop and somehow you got him to laugh and here we go again with these butterflies. Is so annoyed with himself that he almost didnt catch you confess to him but of course he heard the three words that really matter "...I like you.." He's silent after that for a few moments, mainly because his heart is beating so fast and his brain is replaying the words, and he's trying to maintain a cool persona. Finally settles on a small chuckle and a smile "I like you too… fool…" fool? Mentally slaps himself but you seem to be taking it well since you're laughing. 

Ai: 

Ai has such a hard time understanding what's going on inside him and when he does finally understand, he tries to keep it to himself. But every time he sees you and you interact with him, his heart flutters a bit and he soon realized that he cant keep these feelings in forever. He wanted to take you out to one of your favorite restaurants for lunch and then tell you but halfway through the main course, you just kind of told him yourself and it was said so calmly, like you've said it before and he almost wondered if you two were already together? "You like me, too?" Gets such a cute little smile, "I like you, (Y/N), I have for a while.." :')

HEAVENS 

Eiichi: 

Lolololololol has so much confidence. Of course you'd like him back, hahaha….unless??? Cant manage to tell you in fear of his pride being hurt, but he makes sure to try and show you in small ways? Like buying you lunch, getting you VIP tickets to the concerts, spending time with you, etc… And then one day he's doing exactly that, buying you lunch, because he's memorized your favorite everything, but you tagged along because you wanted to be around him and you just were telling him how appreciative you were of him and everything he does and next thing he knows you're confessing to him and he almost drops the take out box. Shook 103. Almost doesnt know how to answer but his smugness comes back sooner or later "my my my angel… I guess I have to confess that I like you too." Plays it off cool but inside his heart grew by like 65 sizes. 

Kira: 

He's so quiet and honestly love was the last thing on his mind and then you came along and messed it all up. Suddenly he was talking and all of HEAVENS was shook and realized way sooner than Kira ever could. At some point the feelings started overflowing and he cant deny them anymore and you just happen to sit so close and then you take his hand oh? Those were the words he was dying to hear. "... I like you too…" theres a small blush on his face and you find it so cute. 

Nagi: 

Haha feelings are stupid. Denies it. No one is gonna get him to confess. Nada. Niente. But the more he hangs out with you the harder it is to deny. He even tried insulting you and you know what didnt work? That! That didn't work! So one day he just stomps up to you and goes , "Listen here,you little---" "i like you, nagi-san!!" Did you just interrupt him? No, wait did you just confess to him???!!" Taken aback. Nagi doesnt work for a second. "Y-you.. Do? Well good thing you feel the same because I was just about to tell you that." Plays it off cool, died on the inside. 

Eiji: 

Precious little thing doesnt know what to do with himself and these feelings. Is so nervous around you but tries to not overstep any lines. LOVES to hang out with you and play stupid board games with you, so one night when youre over and you guys are playing UNO, he is almost ready to tell you, but then you said it and his soul left his body for a minute. So overcome with happiness he almost cries, "oh (Y/N)... I like you too… I'm so happy you feel the same!" 

Van: 

Cute. Of course he was gonna fall for someone eventually but this was just SO unexpected. You came into his life and rocked his world in such an unexpected way… suddenly flirting with you doesnt become easy and he is trying so hard to not mess up and ugh here he is trying to explain his feelings to you and wait did you just kiss him and then tell him you feel so deeply for him? Aidjsjqjjasjqoqooosn. SO taken aback. Actually blushes a little? Is this real? Immediately pulls you in and tells you the same, "oh angel! I feel the same way and… can I get another try at that kiss?" 

Yamato: 

Denies his feelings by taking laps and going rock climbing, basically anything to get his mind off of you and focused on something else. Cant tell you, too scared of rejection. So when you asked to join him on one of his runs he almost freaks out because now he HAS to talk to you or it'll be awkward. Halfway through the run you take a water break and you knew that now was the time. "Yamato, I have a crush on you." He was ready for the next 2 and a half kilometers when his knees almost gave out at hearing you say that. Swears on God his heart stopped beating for a second, "good, because otherwise this would be really awkward" and kisses you? He has no clue how he got that confidence and his face is turning all shades of red right after but at least now you know, right? 

Shion: 

His whole life he tried to prove to everyone that he was worth it. And then you came along and you saw that he was worth it and you never expected anything of him, and it is such a nice feeling to just be accepted by someone… he couldnt help but fall for you. Shion wanted to be yours so badly, wanted for you to be his so badly, so when those words left your perfect lips, so many stones fell off his shoulders. He visibly relaxed beside you and gently took your hand in his, "i like you too… Thank you, (Y/N)..." 

[yyxgin]

no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3

admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.

thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?

also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.

im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!

also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.

gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨

ilyl ~ 🌻

thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you 

HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes

aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd

oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.

why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??

ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!! 

YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing

ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!! 

ily <333

[macklives]

session 81 end

wow, okay, first things first

AC!!!!!

shes so fucking cute holy shit i love her so much i dont even know where to begin??

i mean i guess its because im so used to troll snark and the way they just? banter constantly? seeing someone who is a literal ray of sunshine is so refreshing and wholesome and pure. god she’s great. shes a cat, she knows her stuff. she’s strong and theres also this guys???? who shes scared of?? and tells her what to do??? yeah no, idk who it is but let her make her own decisions lol

maybe its just over exaggeration or whatnot, and hes not bad but first impressions do a lot to me and right now the only thing i know about this guy is that AC needs his approval for everything. i guess ill see where that takes us. hopefully nowhere bad. but AC seems like she can take care of herself and knows how to be a good decent troll and i love her for that. wow it literally took me one dialogue to like her. damn, that was fast. jesus.

you know who else is great?

terezi.

yeah i know right. and that whole trial thing, which yeah i guess half the time i was confused by what the fuck is going on since i still cant grasp the idea of how alternia works, but i enjoyed myself with lemonsnout and how terezi roleplays and how much she gets into it. seeing a character that passionate about something is so sweet and nice.

god this was just a nice overall session

which i say, while i completely forgot about the banter TA and karkat got into

right, that happened. oh my god. they both literally stomped all over each other, dissed one another, still made up in the end because apparently thats their friendship and i guess it just works like that. depends on the friends you have, i guess.

its funny though, not gonna lie

and karkat as of now is just being a prick and honestly? 

like more than usual, which i guess is weird to say but i mean from present time to beginning of hivebent karkat. not that its uncommon for him to be a prick, he is, but seeing him go through the non-linear pattern with john is mmmmh interesting to say the least. though we havent seen his first trolling, just him constantly going “oh god what did i say, i was dumb” u know, not in those words but thats basically what he means. 

ooh im gonna analyze, i feel like analyzing right now my fingers have already typed so much as it is MIGHT AS WELL

and our candidate will be *drum rollll* karkat wow predictable (its below the cut because this is literally irrelevant now to the session)

okay, lets lay out the shit we have already. as i said before, the way he talks presently to john (meaning in the future) is so different than how he speaks to everyone now. of course the “i hate the world” personality is still there, and hes still just regular karkat, but karkat talking with john is patient to some extent and tells him what he needs to know for the game, lowkey kinda chills out once they started talking about movies or growing up as huh, didnt he say larvae or smth?

okay that whole grub thing makes sense now as i just wrote that but i am still confused as to what the FUCK that is implying because i dont think it crossed my mind this much, im repressing it for now until it comes up later. 

anyways, back to what i was saying. he was so DIFFERENT than the way he’s acting now which is bitch and moan and like? stfu karkat lmfao. i mean, its not THAT big of a difference in character, because i know he’s still his grumpy old self, and theres a lot of potential.. for growth? not sure if we’ll get it but i like to assume we will get character growth from these characters with fucking 8000 pages talking about them. but a story needs that growth and with karkat being just a straight up angry dude, in MY EYES, he should.. have growth, no? idk HOW he will grow, but im basically just taking what i have right now which isnt much but i analyze things for fun sometimes so let me be.

that being said, because its so early on, im not sure where homestuck is gonna go and i dont have much to go on but being in the psychology course shit happens when you have limited information and you gotta pin point what makes a person a person and how do they cope with things to grow further into life. many of my assignments involve limited info so honestly, not that hard.

but it is something that ive noticed, the way karkat is different as he grows which possibly means the whole veil thing happens later later on in his life and we havent yet seen that small growth become patience and not whining every time he doesnt get what he wants. but growth is common and it mostly likely happens to everyone, so its not like wow this is a surprise and a plot twist, more of something that i just wanna write for the sake of writing it. i hope that makes sense? i dont exactly know where im going with this. i just mean that im basically going to analyse karkat a tiny bit so idk how to otherwise explain it but you’ll get where im going with this as i type more lmao. 

anyways, so karkat literally said “pretend i dont think highly of my friend’s talents” as if he’s visibly trying to force himself from all emotions and bash on those who do (reference: “stop being sensitive, its repugnant” or whatever tf he said while TA replied with “hypocrite”) i take that as a key word. so honestly, while that was the smallest thing ive gotten from this session, its the thing im most curious about actually and i actually havent mentioned lol. because what ive learned in psych, which this is just common knowledge but i did an assignment on it so like?? could be useful?? is that people who hold off their emotions tend to hold off others as well, so there is no chance of mirroring each other. in other words, if someone is happy and starts to laugh and goof around with another, the emotions will mirror that other person subconsciously. like an addictive laugh. theres also another way to show mirroring, which is to mimic another person's actions, allowing another to establish a sense of empathy and thus begin to understand another person's emotions. in this case, im using TA and karkat as example. people who suppress emotions tend to see emotions as a bad sign and if somebody else portrayed any sign of it as well, they’ll basically say “gross what are you doing” because theyre so used to concealing it away, that they dont want others to think theyre into the whole mushy shit. so they pretend to hate it, pretend to not even be slightly affected by general sensitivity..

which basically means karkat is a softie, and even if he’s a prick right now, meeee thinks john, from earlier convos, is growing on him because john himself knows how emotions work and while i dont think troll culture does know much about it, considering the BLOOD AND CARNAGE thing, he is in fact growing and even if thats obvious, and you all know it, i am new to homestuck and am trying to see that for myself. its noticeable to some degree. he may always still be a jerk, but i am waiting to see how he slowly starts to accept things around him and to finally show what hes hiding inside. even if its just going up by a few percentages, i see its there and im hoping VERY HOPING he has the biggest character growth!

in other words, why else do i think this?? well nobody who watches romcoms can be that fucking aggressive. you need some sap in you to like it.

on that note, ill probably analyze alternia’s system and rules in another post later throughout these next few sessions because i feel it needs to be talked about and the way everything just.. is so different and doesnt seem right, you know?

thats it for now goodnight

[rogueshipagogo]

ppl have been asking me my opinions on space channel 5 vr... and i guess since i bought a vr headset off craigslist just so i could play it and speedrun it before work the day it came out... i should talk abt it now... i dont rly think i’ll be able to separate it into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ things i think i’m just going to do a rambly stream of consciousness bc i have a headache... but i DO have good things to say abt this game... so st.... sta stay t tune  d

right off the bat, the thing i appreciate most abt this game- i like that space channel 5 vr doesnt have cash grab vibes. i Do genuinely believe that they Wanted to make this game For the people who are still obsessed with it, and that they ultimately did what they set out to do when they intended to scale certain aspects of the series up conceptually to match the way the fandom perceives it nowadays. but like i’ve said before... i’m not going to Disagree with the very common conclusion that it Needed to be longer, or at Least more intricate plot-wise. one of my fun and fresh excuses for sc5vr being as short as it is is because you arent really supposed to be playing vr games for too long anyways, its really disorienting and kinda painful, but even that doesn’t account for why so much of the game that we got is a rehash of old settings, concepts, songs, and characters. [i dont even have a problem with reusing old songs, i just think the ones they chose ended up being misleading]

for example i think it makes sense that the first report is a remake of the first games first report on the surface, it’s meant to take you back to the way the first game felt and give you an idea of what it means that the games classic scenery can be rendered in actual high quality detail now [same with the recurrence of events like encountering the space pirates in the asteroid belt/the last battle against a villain being singing to it about what it’s done wrong], but i really thought, like, report 1 was going to end up being a simulated scenario for the benefit of lou and kee’s training... which i dont think ended up being the case??? i think they really did write ‘ok here you are in the first game’s setting again, fighting the old enemies again, because... :^) ok have fun playing report 2!’

and then whats report 2... you fight another old boss from the first game... but theres Still no clear villain or motivation for anything thats happening... and there wont be until like... basically the end of the game...

like, glitter is a really cute character, but its kind of underwhelming that shes just a random citizen who was kidnapped by an entity that we NEVER LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT... like part 1 was extremely notable for being about corporate greed and corruption, part 2 honestly wasnt that political in comparison but at least made you do a think wrt purge’s motivation and his methods, and this game just has a plot device that feels like it’ll do smth but then ends up not doing anything beyond what we already learned about it from the information on its character bio before the game was out. if it turns out that cell x is actually relevant again in a future entry in the franchise and they do have a more developed concept for what cell x Is in mind, i’ll do an entire backflip, but for now its just chalked up to being the result of More Space Hijinks that dont need to be explained

ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE ALLUSIONS TO CELL X BEING AN ENTITY THAT FEEDS OFF OF DANCE ENERGY... it had me thinking that there would have to be some New Method of fighting it off that didn’t just lend it more power in the process, but nah apparently just tacking on the disclaimer ‘*this dance energy is not for glitter’ is enough to turn it from smth it can consume for power into big attacks you can use to kill it... like honestly it sounds like im asking for a lot from a game that has Never made too much sense, but considering that in part 2 they could add details like ‘oh didnt you know purge can open pocket dimensions? ulala is capable of manifesting tangible dance energy and the only other person who can do that is purge???’, its not like they havent come up with weird new shit for dance energy to do within the plot before. they just didnt do it in this game fsr

like did anyone else think that cell x/glitter was going to be the result of tossing purge out into deep space and him encountering the sc5 universe’s equivalent of an eldritch alien creature, smth more bestial than morolians?? even if purge wasnt part of it, when you say ‘uh oh, this guy Eats this society’s only source of energy!!!’ i expect the stakes to get HIGH, and i want the ramifications of it to be kinda STARTLING, because blank wanted money and purge wanted to ritualistically end the world but something this near to an ecological disaster that would force an entire paradigm shift hasn’t occurred yet in the series?? its totally new!!! there’s a lot they could do with this but OH DONT WORRY ABOUT IT EVERYONE ulala knows how to make dance energy kill cell x instead of feed it she’s got this we’re good no need to investigate more into all that

i can’t explain why the game is like this. and i dont expect grounding to address it in any meaningful way either. i’m sure they’re Aware of these complaints by now- the game reviewing community has Not been kind to sc5vr specifically due to all of these shortcomings [i didnt even touch on the issues with motion sensing and how many of the games mechanics were removed in favor of smth presumably easier to program yet much less satisfying, like Secret Moves just being mini quicktime events and Turning Your Ratings Into Stars just being replaced with the standard Three Strikes You’re Out method of scoring], but the pr team still seems very enthusiastic abt the game and is still promising dlc and potentially even more games in the series after this one- heres hoping that they’ll at least take these grievances to heart and consider making the experience not only more accessible [aka it will... go back to being a rhythm game with controller input.... and not... an exclusive vr experience...], but also as immersive and detailed as the old games, with less reused plot beats. i can let some of it off the hook in this game simply because i’m aware that it began its life as a tech demo that was only supposed to be that initial first report from the first game But Happening All Around You!, but i Really dont think they could get away with doing this little to expand upon the groundwork set by the first two games again. not with the way people remember part 2 being such a vast upgrade from part 1... the bar had been set so high that this just felt like a huge backslide into something even sillier and harder to take seriously than part 1 before we had any idea what kind of staying power the franchise would have as a hallmark of sega’s quirky antics. like... this game is what i think space channel 5 looks like to people who don’t understand the appeal of the first two games. and that scares me

but i guess for the most part, aside from wishing they had done more to revitalize the setting and the lore of the sc5 universe itself, im kind of glad it didnt do a lot to change the existing storylines the characters have kinda forged for themselves- here i was stressing out that they would pull out some plot development that would utterly and drastically change the way we talked abt the series for the rest of time, but so little happened and so little was added to the bank of sc5 lore that we can kind of all just carry on as usual and keep having the same headcanons we always had.

BUT!!! there ARE a lot of cute little details here and there that make the experience feel wholesome and like i said not an utter cashgrab- like so many of the character profiles referencing previous games [all of the references to npcs in this game being relatives of the npcs of the last games made me lose it] and how often ulala changes her expressions up and looks right at you and talks to you. the new music they wrote for the game also all slaps and everyones redesigns [if they got a redesign... rip pudding] are stunning

one of the most important things they did in this game was give a nice sort of Update to every character.... for example explaining that ulala isn’t a rookie reporter any more like she was in the first 2 games, that she’s moved up to being in charge of training new channel 5 reporters, and that while pudding is still somewhat stuck on her rivalry with ulala her career isn’t stagnant either, she was just cast in a romcom series as the lead... which is really nice considering how in the past she was portrayed as somewhat of a loser with almost no remaining fans left from her idol years

and you knew i was going to bring up jaguar at some point HES ALL OVER THIS GAME AND IT LITERALLY MADE ME FEEL LIKE MY LIFE WAS WORTH POWERING THROUGH THESE LAST FEW YEARS AND ALSO LIKE IM A GENIUS FOR SPENDING SO LONG POSTING EVERY SINGLE DAY ‘NO REALLY, HE’S THE SECONDARY PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY, ITS ABOUT CHANNEL 5 AS A COMPANY AND THEIR IMPACT ON EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER ENCOUNTERED THEM AND THAT INCLUDES JAGUAR AS WELL AS ULALA HES INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT BC SHE WOULDNT BE ALIVE IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIM’ i feel like it’s really incredible how in this game he has genuinely nice energy and doesnt withhold praise from ulala just to be helpful in a mysterious way later and he like HAS FRIENDS now. like consider how he went from disgraced former ch5 employee who got mad every time he saw them, to kidnapped robot henchman kinda humbled by the fact that now the turns tabled and ulala had to rescue Him, and now 3 years later his bio is all about how he has a new tv show thats super popular and he has a new entourage of ladies who he considers his '’’’’’comrades’’’’’’’ within the station he founded??? AND AFTER 20 YEARS THEY WERE FINALLY ABLE TO GIVE HIS MODEL JUICY ASS CHEEKS??????????????? NO MORE PANCAKE BOOTY???? THE BOY HAD A GLOWUP AND NO I WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT

WHEN I SAY MEOW MATCH THE POSE MOTHERFUCKERS THIS BLONDE BASTARD GETS TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE HUNDRED STAGE BATTLE NOW TOO THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE SPACE PIRATES BAYBEE

[bucky-iss-bae]

Puppy Eyes (Bucky X Reader)

I don’t actually know if I’ve done a Bucky x Reader one-shot, although I’ve not done a lot at all, and need to start writing up some more to keep the content coming, but I’ve got horrible deadlines and I’m going Germany next week, so the account might be a little dead, I’ll try to still upload out there x 

Anywayyyyy.... 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader 

Fandom: Marvel (MCU) 

Prompts/Summary: 1. He’s the opposite of friendly. He’s unfriendly. As in don’t be friends with him. 2. ‘You know you’re adorable when you’re mad’ – ‘I can literally kill you’ 3. Slow dancing   - Just following the Reader and Buckys journey. 

Warnings: A few kisses and bad words??? PURE FLUFF xoxo 

Word Count: 3400 

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this, I really enjoyed writing it and I know theres a lot that can be tweaked on, I know this because I’m still trying to improve on my writing... But I just I hope you all enjoy it because I really did. 

Masterlist  Fandom list 

Y/N and Bucky’s relationship hadn’t always been the cutest. There was a time, a year and about 6 or 7 months ago where she would irritate him to no end. It was like, a combination of Sam and Peter, but all in one person. She made him watch TV, she teased him and constantly called him a little lost puppy but became one of his best friends. She was worse than both Sam and Peter because of the feelings he had for her, how she made him feel.

When he first got introduced to Y/N she was shy, and she was quiet. She was good at her job, she kept to herself, but she had certain people she was close to, well everyone yet she was still so quiet. She hung out a lot with Bruce because of how calm she was, they had their own TV shows they’d only watch together. They would binge TV endlessly, old series, as well as new series it was their thing. 

She had similar music tastes to Sam, and whenever she got a little tipsy, even the smallest amount, she would be up there doing karaoke with him. They were awful together, but they gave everyone a good laugh, and music allows them to express themselves.

Natasha, Wanda and Y/N, they were like sisters, whenever they had girls trips, whether it's to the spa, the shooting range, or even shopping, the girls always giggled like they had little secrets, Hill often involved with these trips and in on these secrets as she was the same to them.

She was young compared to some of the Avengers, she understood what memes were and she understood Peters humour. The two of them constantly tagged one another in memes on Instagram, they almost spoke another language when around one another, and although there was an age difference between them, she still understood, apparently her having little brothers and sisters helps.

She also had a somewhat weird relationship with Vision and Scott. With Vision, she often helped him plan date nights for him and Wanda, and when it came to Scott, they again had similar levels of humour. Apparently dad jokes are the worst, but they can still make people laugh.

Thor, he could get on with anyone, and Y/N was no exception. She taught him mundane things and he always told her his most exciting stories. She got him addicted to tiny little fairy cakes. He always asked for them whenever he returned from Asgard, and seeing Thor in the kitchen, with flour all over himself made people wonder if he actually is as powerful as he says he is.

Barton had known her for years, he essentially trained her, before she was an avenger he trusted her to babysit his kids. He helped save her family and motivated her to use her unique skillset further which resulted in her joining shield before she joined the Avengers after a few missions with them.

Tony was like a father figure to her, or maybe like an uncle figure. He, the same as Clint had known her for a long time, since just after he became Iron man. Their conversations were always deep and meaningful, she made him see sense when no one else could, well until Steve could. But still, their relationship was something special.

And with Steve, he could get on with anyone, he had a soft spot for Y/N, just like everyone else has. He saw some of himself in here, especially pre-serum Rogers. Her internal strength and integrity. And they also spoke about sport a lot, she helped him get more with it in terms of the 21stcentury.

So overall Y/N was close to everyone, someone who is quiet, innocent, and capable of getting the job done. Someone who works hard, and when Y/N met Bucky. She saw someone who didn’t want to communicate with anyone other than Steve and Sam. Once the Winter Soldier was out of him he was still quiet and reserved but done well on missions.

When they were first introduced, he almost walked around with a warning sign that screamed, ‘Don’t talk to me, I’m a  brooding scary killer machine’. It didn’t intimidate her in the slightest, although Clint had made a joke the first time she met him,

“He’s the opposite of friendly Y/N. He’s unfriendly. As in don’t be friends with him”

She just looked at Clint, “He’s just acting. Look at him, he’s like... he’s like a puppy. A puppy doesn’t scream unfriendly, a puppy screams, ‘be my friend’”

Clint just rolled his eyes with a snort, “Well, just remember he’s not like everyone else”

Y/N just nodded at that staring at him, he was sat on the couch with Steve, he looked slightly uncomfortable to be surrounded by everyone, “You’re not like everyone else either Barton. No one is like anyone”  

“We’re talking about someone who’s capable of killing anyone within seconds”

“And how long does it take you to kill someone?” She asked him,

“Touché” He muttered,

Y/N just smiled in success, “It’s ok, I’ll prove you wrong, and I’ll be able to be his friend. Just give it time” She said to Clint, he just groaned in response knowing that this is Y/N, she knows her boundaries when it comes to being friends with someone. And she’s going to push those boundaries now.

It was almost like a personal mission for Y/N. She hadn’t told anyone aside from Barton her plans, and that was to become Bucky’s friend. Whether he liked it or not. She could be anyone’s friends, and he really is a lost little puppy no matter how intimidating he is.

When they first spoke she showed no fear, she didn’t have any hostility, and instead welcomed him with a warm smile, “Y/N can make anyone happy. And she knows a lot that can help us get up to date, a little less sarcastic than the kid, a little more with it when it comes to current trends” Steve explained to Bucky.

Bucky just nodded, “Nice to meet you” He grumbled, but little did he know, that was just the start. This small, innocent, and quiet Y/N was about to literally ruin his life for the better and make him believe in love again. It was going to suck, but it was going to be amazing.

It took a while for him to even remotely warm up to her. But day in day out, she just smiled greeted him and had some small talk. It got to a point where the small things made him smile, she knew his coffee order from the local Starbucks, it was a basic black coffee, but she encouraged him to try a few different ones. Each day she watched his facial expressions changed as she handed him his coffee and he drank it.

So far all the stronger ones were more to his liking, and the weaker ones, he pulled a face at but secretly preferred. It’s because he’s a little puppy who acts tough but really isn’t. Well, maybe a little. But still.

Although he didn’t show it, on the inside it made him happy, she took time out to get to know him. She also introduced her to her favourite films. And the best films... in her opinion.

“Did fetch ever become a thing?” He grimaced one day.

“As a joke, sure. But, in the film, there are so many iconic lines.” He just nodded at that, “Can we watch something that’s not as... bitchy?”

I snorted at that but put on The Godfather, Bruce had joined them at this point, handing Y/N the popcorn, and Bucky the Twizzlers. Bucky took them and stared at Bruce in shock, but instead, the three of them sat there watching the film.

Each day the two got closer, everyone noticed this and whenever Clint noticed, he would shake his head and laugh a little. Tony had told her to be careful, and everyone else was shocked at how he was so easily coming out of his shell to become friends with you.

“I promise you, this film is one of the best things ever,” She said to him,

“You said that about Toy Story. And it was great, but it made you emotionally attached to Toys Y/N. Toys!” He said putting emphasis on how he got upset because of the final scene in Toy Story Three.

Y/N just grinned, “This is different, The Lion King will warm your heart,” She said,

Bruce had scoffed at that, he never watched the film with her, it was emotional. It made grown men, women and assassins cry. It made Bucky cry.

“I’m never trusting you again” He grumbled to her as the film ended and pride rock was happy again.

She was laying down, her head in his lap, and she looked up at him. “Oh come on Bucky. It was amazing. You’ve gotta admit that. I remember when I watched this at the theatre. Ok that’s a lie, I don’t remember but I know that I was taken to watch it”

“You know Y/N, I’ve been through a very traumatic life, couldn’t we do something that’s I don’t know... less traumatic?”

Through the majority of the film, Bucky was playing with Y/Ns hair, the gesture relaxing for the both of them. Her hair was soft, and she was soft. Bucky enjoyed spending time with her because she didn’t look at him like he was broken. She looked at him with respect, she wasn’t afraid of him. And she showed him how to have fun, what the best thing to do in this day and age are.

So instead she introduced him to karaoke, Sam was the first one there with them, and Bucky was still so quiet that she had to sing his part with him. He didn’t realise when they first met that she was like this. That she was this outgoing person, especially when its only a few of them. In big groups, she’s the quietest one there, but then in smaller groups, she can be the loudest, she can have this aura around her that is happiness, that makes Bucky smile. He looks at her and he saw someone that had fought to break down his walls, this created such a close friendship between them. Steve was happy, happy to see someone so innocent and so pure teach bucky that he’s just as innocent as she is in terms of life and death. But also teaching him how to be happy again.

Their friendship developed further, but it was Bucky that took it one step further, that took them beyond friendship and instead something that no one else shared, he asked her on a date. They went to go watch a Broadway show, The Lion King to be exact. Apparently Tony helped him with the tickets, and the night was perfect,  they went for food, went to watch the show and it made Y/N realise that Bucky was different. Different to anyone she ever knew. And Bucky knew that was different than anyone he had ever know. She had hidden qualities that no dame he’d ever met in his hundred years had.

It was that night he asked her to be his girlfriend, and from then on things became so much more different. She had broken down his walls, he hadn’t ever realised he could feel this way about someone, that he could love someone the way he does Y/N. Because he loves Y/N and couldn’t imagine his life without her.

Bucky had changed overall since the two had gotten together, after being friends for 6 months, and then a couple, he got more comfortable with everyone. He expressed his feelings, he sung on his own for karaoke and he recommended movies on nights where everyone was watching films together.

The two always cuddled, if not then her head was in his lap. They showed affection in small manners that meant a lot to one another, neither of them were outgoing in big groups, they preferred to stick together.

The first time Bucky said I love you to Y/N was something she would never forget. They’d been together for 3 months approximately, Tony had thrown an extravagant party, they’d all dressed up in their best ball gowns, their best suits and tuxedos. And it was an elegant event. Bucky looked breathtaking, his beard neatly trimmed, his hair was loose, and he looked amazing. Just as Y/N had in his eyes, she left her hair natural, put on enough makeup to make it look elegant, and wearing her favourite outfit. Bucky loved her, he just knew that he loved her. She was at the bar when two arms wrapped around her waist, she felt the coolness of the metal to know it was bucky, and the way he lightly kissed her neck,

“My beautiful doll” He murmured into her ear, “Your dress looks beautiful, but it would look better on my bedroom floor”

Y/N let out a laugh at this and turned around to face him, “Well then you’ll have to woo me tonight Barnes” She replied back before kissing his lips,  

The night was as elegant as Stark could’ve hoped it would be. Everyone enjoyed it, there was no drama and towards the end of the night everyone was slow dancing,

Y/N was in Bucks' arms, the two swaying to the music, “Hey” He muttered getting her attention, she looked up at him, and the look on his face made her go weak at the knees. His eyes held so much love and emotion, it was in that moment she knew that she was so in love with this man, that she has no idea how life would be without him.

“Hey” She murmured back,

“I love you” He whispered resting his forehead against her, this caused a smile to breakout onto her lips before she kissed him, “Good” she muttered between kisses before standing back and looking into his eyes, “Because I love you too”

From there on the two often shared those words between themselves. Soon their routines became similar, they shared a room, shared the love between one another. Y/N still spent her time with the others, but she had special time for Bucky, despite how immature he could be, he still had the face of a puppy.

“You know, you’re adorable when you’re mad” She teased whilst pinching his cheek and walking around him to grab some coffee,

He had a pout on his face and looked like a kicked puppy, “I can literally kill you” He grumbled,

She let out a laugh at that, “Ok, just a warning, you’ll miss me” She said sticking her tongue out.

He sighed and still had that pout on his face, someone had eaten his favourite cereal, he didn't know how to take it. Although everyone knew it was Sam, Sam still denied it especially because he just wanted to eat.

“How about this” She started, “Let's go out for breakfast”

He immediately agreed and decided after breakfast they were going to get some more cereal from the store and they were going to hide it from Sam.

She agreed with him and went to get ready taking her mug with her, she’ll have plenty of space to drink some more.

From that morning on, at least once a month they went for breakfast, each time trying someplace new, and each time trying to make sure the place was aesthetical enough for Y/N to get a pic for the gram. Bucky was baffled but agreed and she made him her personal photographer. As someone who couldn’t use a phone, Bucky had become a pro at taking photos of Y/N, he was also a pro at having candid photos of himself being taken. She never told him, only if they were going on her Instagram she asked first. But between the two, they tried to cherish every moment.

It was a year into their relationship and on their anniversary when Bucky had to teach Steve how to take the perfect photo as he had been over the past year. Well, he started teaching him a while before, telling Tony to teach his man how to get with technology, and somehow Bucky had managed to get the perfect shot, the background all perfect, and Steve knowing when and where to take the right photo. 

Bucky spent time near the lakes creating the perfect scene for the two of them, a candlelit dinner where they would celebrate their one year anniversary for when both of their lives changed for the better.

Y/N had no clue about any of this, she wasn’t even sure what to buy Bucky for their anniversary, she had panicked and gone to Natasha and Wanda. They gave some suggestions, and eventually, she settled on a watch with the date they got together engraved on the back along with their initials.

But he, he had gone above and beyond. She was dressed in a cute outfit, not underdressed but not overdressed, he told her they were going for dinner, she was happy ,what she hadn’t expected was the walk from the compound to the river to have rose petals as a path, to get there and to see beautiful fairy lights and flowers around the beautifully lit gazebo. It was still bright outside so the light pinks of the sky,

“Bucky” She whispered, “Its beautiful,” She said turning to look at him, her heart in her throat, she felt overwhelmed with happiness,

He led the way to the table, and they both sat down and ate. They reminisced over the year, and the 6 months before they got together. How she used to tease him endlessly, how they became best friends and how they fell in love. They ate food prepared by a chef of Tony’s, and the listened to music off of their favourite soundtrack.

When the table had been cleared they stood and danced in the sunset, before he started his speech.

“Y/N” Bucky started while slowly swaying around with her,

Her head was rested on his chest and she hummed back a reply, “What's up bucky?” She murmured,

He felt like she could feel his rapid heartbeat, he had never felt so nervous in his life. Nothing had prepared him for this singular moment,

“I um...” He started, “You know I love you right?”

“Yes Bucky” She said looking up at him slightly confused to see the nerves on his face, “And you know I love you too”

He took a deep breath before standing back, he let go of her waist and dropped to one knee, as he did her hands covered her mouth when she realized what he was doing.

“When we first met Y/N, you annoyed me like no one else did, you kept on breaking down these barriers, and all I could think is how can someone this innocent and shy, create such havoc in someone's life. But it slowly made me fall in love with you, each day we spent together I learnt more and more about you. You became my best friend, someone who wasn’t afraid of me, and someone who gave me a new lease on life.

You’re it for me Y/N, and I can’t do this without you. I had a long ass speech planned, but doll, seeing you stood there, in your pretty dress, looking at me with those pretty Y/E/C eyes, I just know that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up every day beside you, I want to have a family with you, a life with you Y/N. So, ‘Y/N’ ‘Y/M/N’ ‘Y/S/N’, will you marry me?” He asked showing her the beautiful ring,

As he finished speaking tears were brimming at the corner of his eyes, but YN was in full bouts of tears, and nodded, “Yes, Bucky.” She sobbed out, “Yes I will marry you. Oh my gosh, of course, Bucky” She said,

Her answer caused relief to flush across his body as he stood up and engulfed her into a hug before the two of them kissed, Bucky had forgotten that he had gotten Steve to take photos of this moment, he had forgotten the nerves he felt before, he had forgotten how long it took to plan this night, and he forgot his script, but it was all worth it to have Y/N in his arms right now as his fiancé.

“I love you so much Bucky” She whispered grabbing his face in her hands,

“I love you too Y/N” He replied back both their eyes closed and their foreheads resting against one another’s.